# 3 Rules for Calling People Out the Islamic Way | Imam Tom Weekly

**Author:** Tom Facchine
**Published:** 2026-07-29
**YouTube:** https://youtu.be/MoZdQLtbZwg
**URL:** https://yaqeeninstitute.org/watch/series/3-rules-for-calling-people-out-the-islamic-way-imam-tom-weekly
**Topics:** General Psychology, Identity, Islamic Ethics, Politics & Practical Theology, Psychology & Mental Health

## Description
The Companions of the Prophet (s) welcomed correction because they cared more about being right with God than being right in the room. Somewhere along the way, we lost that instinct and replaced it with defensiveness when we’re corrected and ego when we’re correcting. In this Snapshot, Imam Tom...

## Transcript
**[0:00]** How do you be principled without being harsh? We know that in Islam, we have a requirement to speak up for the truth. We also have an expectation that we're going to be commanding the good and forbidding the evil.

**[0:15]** But when does it cross the line? When is it too much? When does it become about ego? There are a couple of things that I have as reflections that will help people navigate this very, very important tension. Because they are held in tension. On one extreme, we don't want to become this fake nice community or fake nice ummah where we just completely clam up and don't call each other out or don't hold each other accountable.

**[0:38]** We know that throughout the long history of Islamic scholarship, that's not how the Islamic scholars were. That's not even how the Companions were. They were not silent when they saw something that was wrong. On the other hand, we can't obsess over trying to call other people out.

**[0:54]** We know that this is actually an aspect or a characteristic of hypocrisy: to follow other people's flaws. To be looking for any little thing or even just to fixate on it in an unhealthy way. So how do we inhabit this tension, or how do we navigate this tension?

**[1:09]** One is that everything has to come back to a truth-first perspective. It's very actually difficult, and this is a subtle point. It's very difficult today because we're so indoctrinated with an identity-first perspective. So we think about us as Muslims and that's my identity, and you're going to have your identity over here.

**[1:27]** And there's kind of an implied relativism going on if the terrain is about identity. There's almost a silent agreement for a quid pro quo that, oh, well, you have to recognize my identity and I recognize your identity.

**[1:42]** And we recognize each other as valid, and therefore that's where we have to stop. And it's uncomfortable to push it any further than that. That's not necessarily, in my humble opinion, an Islamically sound orientation to hold. Islam is about truth.

**[1:57]** And we believe that this revelation that is given to us is true and is given to humanity to bring them to the truth and to take them out of falsehood. That this confrontation between truth and falsehood is a very, very important thing. We don't equate, or we don't make false equivalencies, between those who are on the side of falsehood or hold false beliefs or do false actions or harmful actions.

**[2:19]** We don't falsely equate those to people who are on the side of truth and on the side of good and on the side of righteousness. And it would actually be a crime to make those two things equal. They're not equal. At the same time, we have to realize that if our intention is to focus on the truth, then that comes with a couple of corollaries.

**[2:38]** One of those things is that it should never delve into people taking it personally. Unfortunately, one of the mechanisms that is triggered in people, if you start to talk about the truth and, hey, you believe this thing and I think that that's wrong, or you're doing this thing and I think that it's wrong, is that people get defensive.

**[2:56]** And a certain amount of defensiveness is natural. However, I think that it's worth noting that the Companions and the Salaf, the early generations of Muslims, accustomed themselves to a very different relationship with that type of feedback. Actually, they loved for other people to correct them.

**[3:12]** And this highlights something that's very, very important: that they were more concerned about the truth. They were more concerned about doing what's right. And certainly, if you're doing something wrong, then why would you not want other people to correct you? Why would you want to persist in your wrong belief or your wrong action?

**[3:29]** It shows that there's a lack of loyalty or a lack of adherence to the truth. So rather than take it personally, and this type of thing, it's actually, interestingly enough, to take it personally is a behavior that the Quraysh were involved in. And some of the nonbelievers, the people who rejected Islam, were involved in because they said, and Allah mentions this in the Qur'an, that if this were the truth, then we would have come to it first.

**[3:52]** Or if this was the truth, then our forefathers would have come to it first. So they were taking it personally. It was almost as if to tell them what was true and to call them out on false beliefs and practices was an insult.

**[4:09]** You don't have to take it personally. That's a fundamental difference, I think, between people. And this is for everybody, including myself. We have to have a truth-first mentality. If you have something that's true that you need to tell me, that I need to know, I would rather know that thing than go on persisting in error.

**[4:25]** And the type of person who would rather go on persisting in error than be corrected, then that's a spiritual disease. The second thing is that we should all be comfortable with what I call falsifiability. This is actually a technique that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala uses in the Qur'an to demonstrate and to put things to the test.

**[4:40]** And it has to do with, again, not making this personal. It's not about you and your feelings or your family or your reputation or whatever. This is just about: does it hold water? Is it something that makes sense? Is it something that's evidenced? Is that evidence sound? Does that evidence prove what you're claiming that it proves?

**[4:57]** Because a lot of times people have dalil, people have evidence, but it doesn't prove what they think that it does at all. And so Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala uses the technique of falsifiability within the Qur'an several times. So, for example, when he challenges the audience or the listener or the Quraysh:

**[5:12]** If you don't believe that this Qur'an is the word of God, then produce a Qur'an like it. If you're saying that this is the work of a human being, then you should be able to—you're all human beings—you should be able to produce something like it. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gives that challenge in a few different ways in the Qur'an. And he varies the length of the challenge, whether it's an entire surah or whether it's part of a surah or whether it's something entirely like it.

**[5:32]** But the whole point is that there is a test. There's a falsifiability test: this is how you will be able to know whether this is true or whether this is false. And then it's a really healthy exercise for people to be able to say: well, this is what I would have to see in order for me to believe that is true.

**[5:49]** Or this is what I would have to see in order for me to change my opinion on this thing. Imagine you're debating with an atheist or something like that. Get them to do it. It's like: what would you have to see and be wrong about in order to change your opinion on whether God exists?

**[6:05]** If they can't articulate it, if they say there's nothing that you can show me that will make me believe, then that is a spiritual disease. That's not an evidenced position. And so that's a very, very helpful thing. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala also does this when he challenges the efficacy of other idols.

**[6:22]** Like if I took away this from you, or if I made the night constant 24/7, or if I made the day constant 24/7, or if I made your water unpalatable, who would be able to restore it for you? Allah poses these rhetorical questions.

**[6:37]** If they're real gods, then they should be able to listen. They should be able to speak. They should be able to respond. They should be able to protect you. They should be able to protect themselves. If they can't do this thing, then that is the test. A god should be able to speak, because you can't guide without being able to speak.

**[6:53]** A god should be able to respond, because what kind of god is it that can't respond? A god should be able to defend you or help you in any sort of way. So you can use the technique of falsifiability for other people, but also for yourself. You should be able to say: whether you're this type of Muslim or that type of Muslim and you hold these particular beliefs,

**[7:09]** it's like, well, this is what it would take for me to change my opinion. Now, that doesn't indicate that you're bound to do that, because other people might present to you: well, here's X, Y, and Z, and you say, no, that doesn't convince me because it actually doesn't meet my criteria for falsifiability. But to go through the process itself is, I think, an exercise and a useful exercise in humility and in honesty

**[7:28]** and bringing us up to this truth-first perspective. In the last technique, in the last point, everybody has to have a willingness to change. A willingness to change is the most important thing. This is something that was demonstrated by Malcolm X, or Hajj Malik al-Shabazz, throughout his life. One could say the ultimate personal dilemma that you're going to face in life, and much of the Qur'an,

**[7:48]** is about the drama of what do people do when they are presented with the truth? How do they respond? Do they get defensive? Do they take things personally? Do they find excuses? Or do they actually submit? So when you've been confronted with a truth that wasn't something that you used to hold, how do you respond to it?

**[8:06]** Is it a little bit different from a situation in which you're not persuaded yet? Again, that's a separate issue. We dealt with that previously. But if you actually are—it's like, wow, I said that this is what it would take. It's been presented to me in a compelling way. Now I have an obligation to follow it.

**[8:21]** Whether your fans like it, whether your followers like it, whether your family or your friends or whatever, your business partners, your coworkers, whatever— whether they agree with it or not, you have an obligation, a moral duty to follow that new information.

**[8:36]** And that's what Allah ﷻ expects of all of us. So this is a practical look: how you can stand for the truth without becoming arrogant, without being abrasive, without becoming spiritually unhealthy or toxic. And there are many other things that could be said here.

**[8:51]** But overall, it has to come back to the truth and your willingness to submit to that truth.

**[9:09]** Al-Fatiha.